How to Be the Most Annoying Person at a Passover Seder

Anyone who’s attended a number of different Passover Seders can tell you that they can feel very different, depending on who’s at the table and who’s running show. From the length of the Seder, to who’s reading, what kind and how long the divrei Torah are and so forth. I’ve been to Seders that inspired and Seders that left me snoring. That being said, if you don’t want annoy your fellow Seder attendees, try avoiding the following behaviors. 

Taking  7-10 Business Days to Finish the Haggadah

While usually the first Seder starts earlier and the second Seder is later, this year, both of the sedarim start late. That being said, everyone wants to have a meaningful Seder but nobody wants it to drag. Don’t do anything that messes with the rhythm and flow of the Seder, like asking thousands of questions about everything and sharing 10 minute anecdotes about your childhood Seders. 

Saying A Famous Dvar Torah As If…

There is always someone at the table who loves giving over classic divrei Torah as if he were Rashi himself. I love an OG dvar Torah as much as the next girl, and it’s important to review the traditional ones, but give credit where credit is due. 

Giving a Dvar Torah About Every Word

We get it. You know lots of stuff! That’s beautiful! But seriously, we would like to make it to Shulchan Orech sometime before Mashiach comes. Dvar Torahs are good, but maybe save some for some of the other meals…. 

Telling Everyone How Your Family Does it Differently

Everyone knows that people use various vegetables for karpas. Just use the one that your host has graciously provided, without tilting your head, frowning your bottom lip and judgily sharing that you grew up with parsley. You can mention it. Just don’t make it weird. This applies to how people wash hands during Urchatz and Rachtzah and other parts of the Seder.

Go With The Flow

If you accidentally read ahead or get behind because of a bathroom break, don’t read or sing aloud while everyone else is at a different part of the Haggadah. Respectfully and quietly catch up to where everyone else is and join the group. Nothing is more disturbing (or cringey) than someone else reading aloud out of synch with the group. This applies to bentching year-round.

Sing The Tune That Most People Are Singing

Whether it’s during the random singy parts of Magid ( looking at you Baruch Hamakom) or Hallel and Nirtzah, please don’t sing a different tune than what the head of the Seder or what the majority of the group is singing. It’s annoying. It’s confusing. It’s just a big no. We get it. You’re used to another tune and you’ve got a song in your heart. But do your seder table mates a favor and just be chill. Sing yours quietly, learn a new one, or ask if you can do yours afterward ( assuming your Seder isn’t lagging).

There are many ways you can drive your fellow Seder table guests crazy, but these are some oldies and goodies that I’ve personally seen induce many eye rolls and “ are you kidding me”s in my time. Bottom line is keep in mind that the Seder is like a ship- you’re all in it together and you want the journey to be enjoyable and for everyone to arrive at the end in one piece. Chag Sameach!